#nandor the relentless smut

[collinrobinsonsglasses]

hi!! if it's ok I'd love to make a request!

please can you write a oneshot with Nandor x reader (fem/gender neutral) where reader is feeling insecure and Nandor comforts them? hoping for something really fluffy and if you're comfortable with writing smut then it'd be amazing (if not then no worries, SFW is fine with me :D)

thank you!!

Nandor x F!Reader

Masterlist

Word count: 1.9k

This was my first time writing something for WWDITS, and my first time writing something a little spicier. It was a lot of fun. Thank you for the request @just-a-little-cellist

Warnings: NSFW, This is a little more smutty than my usual stuff, so 18+ only please!!

Getting More Familiar

Having recently moved back to the city in search of a fresh start, you found yourself working at the local movie theater without a clear sense of direction. It was during this time that two mysterious figures, dressed in Victorian garb, approached you with an enticing job offer. The prospect of escaping your unfulfilling job and gaining a new place to live seemed too good to pass up. When Nadja and Laszo revealed they were vampires that night, it didn’t faze or shock you at all; it felt entirely ordinary. Reflecting on the encounter, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had fallen under their hypnotic influence. Strangely, this realization didn’t bother you; instead, it added an intriguing layer to your newfound life. 

As Nadja and Laszlo’s familiar, you found yourself responsible for managing the entire household, which included their two roommates. Nadja and Laszlo were low-maintenance, devoting the majority of their free time to activities that Laszlo referred to as “fucking and sucking.” You quickly learned to avoid Colin Robinson, as he never missed a chance to drain your energy–whether through incessant talking or attempting to piss you off. You found Nandor to be your favorite vampire companion, and he, too, seemed to enjoy spending time with you. He shared that his familiar, Guillermo, was currently on a break, and Nandor appeared somewhat lonely.

Nandor relished recounting his human past, regaling you with tales of the villages he relentlessly pillaged and reminiscing about his time as the nation’s Supreme Viceroy. You consistently listened to Nadnor’s stories with genuine interest, asking questions and sharing laughter at his jokes. Despite Nandor’s formidable warrior background, it appeared that the years as a vampire had softened him. What he seemed to need most was someone who would listen and genuinely care about what he had to say. Being that person came easily to you, and you couldn’t help but imagine that Guillermo had played a similar role before his departure. 

You couldn’t deny that Nandor was quite easy on the eyes, though it felt somewhere cliché to admit, considering he was a vampire. His undeniable strength became clear when he assisted you in carrying heavy bodies for disposal. Nandor had long, soft, black hair, and on some mornings, he’d ask you to brush it before he retreated into his casket. When the group ventured into the city at night, he displayed a protective streak, keeping a watchful eye on your whereabouts and warding off other vampires who showed too much interest in you. Though you harbored strong feelings for him, you refrained from admitting it, acknowledging that a 761-year-old vampire likely wouldn’t share your romantic feelings. Despite this, you cherished the moments spent in his company, savoring the connection whenever possible. 

Today unfolded like any other ordinary day, with you rising a few hours before sunset to tidy up the house before the vampires stirred. In the library, Colin sat absorbed in his newspaper, a familiar sight as you diligently dusted the room. It seemed that Colin was perpetually awake, his presence a constant in the early evening routine. Colin prattled on about something from the newspaper, but you didn’t mind, anticipating the upcoming time with Nandor. As you continued to dust, Colin’s chatter ceased, likely realizing his attempts to drain your energy in this way were futile. 

“You know, it’s interesting…” Colin Robinson began, peering out above his newspaper toward you. “Laszlo and Nadja usually have sex with their familiar by now, but they haven’t with you. Makes you wonder what’s wrong with you.” With that, he folded his newspaper with glee and left the room, his eyes glowing blue and a smirk on his face. 

He had gotten to you. The rush of energy left your body as you started to ponder if Colin’s words held truth. What was wrong with you? You never saw yourself as beautiful or sexy, considering yourself cute at best. Memories of past men you liked referring to you as “like a sister” flashed through your mind. Colin Robinson had hit on an insecurity that had lingered for most of your life–you didn’t feel desirable. You were kind and easy to be around, but the realization sank in that there was probably a reason those two vampires wouldn’t have any interest in you. Those thoughts circled in your mind for the next few hours as you continued cleaning the house, leaving you feeling intensely self-conscious by the time the sun set. You made a decision to try to avoid everyone tonight, unless they genuinely needed you. 

You kept yourself busy in the fancy room after greeting Nadja and Laszlo. Fortunately, they made their way to the room with the piano, engrossed in practicing some of their old songs. This allowed you to maintain a bit of distance and focus on your tasks for the night. After an hour, Nandor found you, greeting you with a sheepish smile while idly playing with his fingers. “Oh, there you are,” his voice rang out with his usual, endearing accent. 

You replied with a forced smile, that being the best you could muster while feeling embarrassed for letting Colin Robinson get to you. Despite your attempts to conceal your emotions, Nandor noticed immediately. 

“You’re glum,” Nandor remarked as he sat on the couch, gesturing for you to join him. When you opened your mouth to speak, nothing came out. “Don’t deny it. I can tell.” Feeling vulnerable, you decided to tell him the truth, but you looked to the ground while speaking. “Do Nadja and Laszlo sleep with all their familiars?” 

“Nadja and Laszlo would fuck anything with a pulse,” Nandor chuckled, seemingly misreading the situation completely. “Well, I guess technically they wouldn’t even need a pulse, because we’re vampires.” 

“So Colin Robinson was right. There must be something wrong with me.” You leaned your head back against the couch, tears forming in your eyes. All the past stings of rejection came rushing back in that moment. You glanced over towards Nandor, realizing he looked confused, and you felt silly for allowing yourself to get emotional in front of him. Trying to compose yourself, you sat up, wiped away the forming tears and mustered a weak smile. 

“Why do you think there is something wrong with you?” Nandor asked, genuine confusion painting his face. 

“Colin Robinson said there has to be a reason Nadja and Laszlo haven’t tried to make a move on me. I guess I’m just not desirable in that way… even though I have a pulse,” you said, trying to make a joke out of it now. You realized that Nandor probably wanted nothing to do with this conversation. 

“Fucking guy,” Nandor grumbled, his expression darkening as he glared straight ahead. When he looked back at you, his demeanor softened. “I believe you are incredibly beautiful… and you have a rocking body.”

You didn’t believe a word he was saying, knowing this was most likely just him trying to cheer you up and move on quickly. “Thanks, Nandor, but you don’t have to do that.” 

“I don’t understand. What am I doing?” Nandor questioned, a perplexed expression on his face. 

“Trying to cheer me up, but it’s silly. I”ll get over it.” 

Nandor moved towards you, placing his cold hand against your cheek and wiping the remnant of a tear from your face. “I, Nandor the Relentless, have had 37 wives and even more lovers. I believe you are one of the most beautiful, sensitive, and poetic creatures I have ever laid my eyes upon.” In this moment, Nandor spoke with authority, unlike the shy version of Nandor you usually encountered. 

Inhaling quickly in shock, you looked into Nandor’s dark brown eyes. You stayed silent, unsure if this was a trick or if it was real. 

“If you do not believe you are desirable, I’ll have to show you how desirable I think you are,” he whispered, gazing over you with his eyes. “If that is what you want.” 

You replied with a quick nod, your eyes widening, and your heart picking up speed. Your emotions flooded with longing, and you looked down towards Nandor’s lips. 

Nandor’s lips found yours, his hands firmly holding your face as he drew you in. Closing your eyes, you relished the feeling of his cold lips against yours. A gasp escaped you as his kisses trailed down your neck. Nandor guided you to lay on the couch, his body intimately pressed against yours. You sensed the touch of his cold fingers tracing across your thigh beneath your dress, eliciting a moan from you, muffled by the embrace of his kiss. He momentarily paused, his fingers delicately tracing the contours of your underwear, while looking into your eyes. 

Nandor whispered, uncertainty clouding his face, “Is this truly what you desire?” 

“Yes,” you replied with conviction, “Ever since I started working as Nadja and Laszlo’s familiar, I’ve been into you, Nandor.” 

“How should I put this… it is you who are the person who I am into… too.” His genuine smile grew, while looking down at you. 

With that, you sensed his fingers skillfully maneuvering around the fabric of your underwear, and gasped as his finger rubbed against you. You felt your hips instinctively lift at his touch and you observed him with a gaze filled with desire. As his finger slid inside of you, your eyes closed involuntarily, wanting to commit the sensation of his touch into memory. The soft sound of his chuckle reached your ears, acknowledging your reaction, while he removed your underwear tossing them onto the ground. You then experienced his icy kisses trailing up your thighs before he was between your legs. His tongue and lips provided a heavenly sensation causing you to moan and grind your hips against his mouth. 

“You taste delicious,” Nandor growled. 

Rising from the couch, he stood up, gently pulling you to your feet and enveloping you in a deep kiss. The intensity of the kiss heightened as he pressed you against one of the room’s walls. Effortlessly lifting you up, your legs encircling him, he pressed against you. Your hand descended, deftly unbuttoning his pants, causing him to moan as you led him inside of you. A momentary pause ensued as you locked eyes, desire vividly painting both of your faces. Nandor’s vampire strength proved formidable; he held you aloft, as you began a slow rotation of your hips. Closing his eyes, he emitted a low groan, surrendering to the intensity of the moment. Entwined with Nandor, a genuine feeling of beauty enveloped you, relishing in the pleasure you both felt. The feeling of being desired by Nandor dispelled any lingering doubts Colin Robinson had left in your head. Nandor thought you were sexy and he wanted you. 

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

“Well, if I”m being honest,” Nandor candidly addressed the camera, “I asked Laszlo and Nadja to not fuck her… because I liked her… I guess I could have told her that, but I think it worked out.” A smirk played on Nandor’s lips as he glanced towards the camera, nervously playing with his fingers. Just then, Nadja’s voice echoed from the other room, causing his smirk to drop. 

“About fucking time you made a move, you big idiot.” 

[mothguillotine]

Hey Siri, Can Vampires Get Cucked?

"So it didn't go as well as I had hoped it would," you tell the camera thinking about the fact that Oscar ran away from you a week ago, "I was really hoping that I would be able to get Oscar to understand but now I'm realizing that it's possible that hypnosis was probably a better option and that knocking him out and kidnapping him was aggressive."

"The one good thing about the whole situation is that Nandor has finally started to warm up to me," you say, "he has actually spoken to me everyday. Actually I wouldn't say warming up to me is the correct term. I honestly have no idea what changed after Oscar left the other day." When you finish up your interview with the crew you return to your bedroom to do some reading.

Down stairs though Nadja is sat in front of the camera. She looks exasperated and when she speaks its present in her voice as well.

"I have been trying to get Nandor to grow some balls and ask her out but I have yet to have any success," she tells the camera, "I have watched Nandor follow her around for the last two weeks like a lost little puppy. I am sick of it."

"So I have devised a plan to get him to admit that he wants her," she says deviously, "Both of them have yet to truly talk and this will fix that. Of course Laszlo has a different approach."

"My idea is to shove them both in a room until something is either sucked, fucked, or cucked." Laszlo says as he sits down next to his wife.

"Cucked?" Nadja asks, "Why would this end up in cuck?"

"I mean you never know what could happen in there." Laszlo says looking suggestively into the camera while Nadja makes a face behind him.

"Well, we decided to mix our ideas together," Nadja says, moving the conversation forward, "We will lock them in a room together until Nandor confesses."

"Yes, and if it results in someone getting sucked, fucked, or cuck-" Laszlo starts to say until Nadja cuts him off.

"Laszlo!" Nadja yells at her husband, "This is about Nandor and his feelings. Not about you."

"Yes, I'm sorry my love," Laszlo apologizes to her but when they go to leave he turns back to the camera when Nadja is out of earshot and says, "If it results in anything sexual I will be a most willing participant."

_________________________________________

A little while later while you are reading you hear your name being called by Nadja.

"Nadja?" you call out.

"In here!" she yells. When you find her she is in Nandor's bedroom.

"Hey, what's up?" you ask her, " and why are we in Nandor's room?"

"One second sweetie," she says to you, "I will be right back."

You sit down on the chair in front of Nandor's coffin and for about ten minutes you wait until you hear someone in the hall outside the door. The door is quickly opened and Nandor is shoved in. As fast as the door opens its closed the next second and when Nandor rushes to open the door it doesn't budge.

"Laszlo!" he yells, "Open this door right now!"

When he doesn't get a response he starts yelling for Guillermo. You can hear nothing through the door though.

"Nandor?" you ask, "What's going on?"

Nandor turns around to look at you and immediately starts banging on the door again yelling for Laszlo to let him out.

"Just get it over with then I will let you out!" Laszlo yells through the door.

Nandor knew exactly what he was talking about. A few days ago Nandor had confided in Laszlo about how he found you beautiful and how badly he wanted you. In all honesty it reminded Laszlo of himself falling in love with Nadja. That's why he had forced this confrontation.

You on the other hand had no idea about what any of this meant. While you definitely didn't mind being trapped in Nandor's room with him you were confused. A few days ago Nadja had confronted you about what you felt towards Nandor and in all honesty since he started talking to you, you have developed a bit of a crush on him.

Nadja had pressed and pressed until you had admitted it to her and you made her swear not to tell anyone, which, to your knowledge she had kept. What you and Nandor don't know is that they had been conspiring to get their friends together.

"So, uh what was that all about?" you ask Nandor.

"You know Laszlo, he is my best friend but he is not the smartest." he says and laughs awkwardly.

"Nandor, what did he mean to get it over with?" you ask, you are honestly a bit worried that Nadja had told Laszlo and in turn he had told Nandor that you like him.

"Nothing," Nandor says, "He meant absolutely nothing."

"Nandor, whatever it is you can tell me." you tell him, Nandor turns from the door and faces you.

"I- its nothing." he tells you.

"Well it's obviously something or else we wouldn't be locked in here." you tell him.

"It's nothing," Nandor insists, "stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?" you ask him.

"Looking at me like that," he says frustratedly, "I can't deal with it."

"Okay, I am very lost." you tell him, "How am I looking at you?"

"You- nevermind," Nandor says, returning to banging on the door.

"Nandor!" you yell at him and when he doesn't turn to face you, you march forward and turn him around to face you, "Tell me."

You both stand still, this is the closest to him you've been since the first time you met. He looks down at you and a split second later he is kissing you. It surprises you for a second but once you get into it you are kissing him back, the kiss is sweet and short. When you both finally break apart you can't help but smile.

"Is that it?" you ask him.

"What?" Nandor asks, still a bit out of it.

"You just wanted to kiss me?" you ask, "That's it?"

"Well I wouldn't say I just wanted to kiss you but yes." Nandor says looking down at you.

"Do you wanna do it again?" you ask him and before you know it you are kissing again, this time though more passionately than before. His hands find your waist and you bring one of your hands up to his face. You both break away for a moment then resume your activities. One of Nandor's hands is making their way up the back of your shirt.

"Do you wanna-" You start to ask Nandor.

"Yes," He tells you.

"You don't even know what I was going to say?" you tell him smiling.

"Whatever it is. I want to do it." he tells you.

"Really?" you ask him, "Just like that?"

"Just like what?" he asks you confused.

"Nevermind, I was just gonna ask if-" You start to say but are interrupted by Laszlo.

"Nadja is starting to get what the humans refer to as 'hangry'," Laszlo says through the door, "We must leave now or she will become violent."

"Okay, Laszlo we will be right there." Nandor says, "I shall talk with you later, my sunshine."

_________________________________________

You are currently sitting down in front of the camera and honestly you have no idea what to say. Oscar hasn't returned any of your texts or calls and the whole situation with Nandor you still haven't talked about with him yet.

"The last week has been pretty crazy," you finally started, "I mean I don't even honestly know where to start but I'm starting to get the hang of the vampire thing. I hypnotized for the first time yesterday night, some security guard stumbled across us while we fed."

After you and Nandor had been freed from his room you had both been unable to speak with each other about what happened. As soon as you had left Nadja stole you to make sure you looked fabulous for your first official hunt. For the last two weeks Guillermo had brought you humans to feed on and now you were actually going to attempt to get one for yourself.

"We decided to go out by the bars and get any drunks who we stumbled upon," you tell the camera, "I wasn't told though that if you drink the blood of someone who is intoxicated that you also feel the effects. When I was still alive I was notorious at being a lightweight. Unfortunately, that carried over to my vampire life. If I was still able to be bruised my legs would definitely be covered in them."

You could honestly barely remember the night prior after you had all drank two humans. The security guard had happened early enough where you could remember it but a lot is missing.

Nadja and Laszlo had yet to leave their room and you haven't seen Nandor either. You were anxious that you may have come on too strong but you also knew that he did feel the same way. So it just honestly confused you. When you are dismissed by the crew you head to your bedroom.

Down the hall Nandor had tried on most of his clothes and still had not found the perfect outfit. Guillermo had been helping him try on and rate different outfits but after Nandor had tried on the same shirt and 3 slightly different pairs of pants he resigned himself to waiting till his master was ready.

"I honestly have no idea what is going on with him." Guillermo whispers into the camera.

"Ta-Da!" Nador says and Guillermo turns to look at him, "What do you think?"

"Wonderful Master," Guillermo says as Nandor spins to give him a 360° of the outfit, Guillermo turns to face the camera again and with a straight face says, "that is the very first outfit he tried on."

_________________________________________

You, apparently in your drunkness, had repeatedly texted Oscar apologizing over and over. It definitely wasn't the most embarrassing thing you have ever done while intoxicated, but it is definitely up there. For a while you lay on your bed staring up at the ceiling until you hear a knock at your door.

Nandor is standing there when you open the door with a bouquet of flowers. If you weren't confused before you are definitely confused now.

"What is this for?" you ask him and take the flowers from his hands.

"Well I read that bringing flowers to a potential mate is a good gift so I made Guillermo get you some," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"Oh, Nandor, this is very sweet," you tell him, "Thank you."

"Oh it's nothing," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"You asked me that already." you tell him smiling.

"Oh, well, bye." Nandor says quickly and leaves. You watch him walk down the hall and look back at the crew, confused, who is filming from the other way.

_________________________________________

"I have put a plan into motion," Nandor says to the camera, "mostly to get Laszlo off my back about my 'feelings' but I believe I have finally found the vampire I want to spend my life with."

You have been getting gifts from Nandor everyday for the past two weeks. At first it started off with simple gifts that anyone could find at a store but then it became more outrageous.

Three days ago he presented you with a gorgeous necklace and the next day he gave you a pair of earrings. Both days you had told him that you didn't need gifts from him but he had insisted.

In all honesty it was uncomfortable to accept the gifts he gave you, mostly because you had no way of getting him anything of the same standard. You loved that he apparently wanted to buy you presents but at some point it had to stop.

Today, as you expected, was no different. Except this time he brought you a bigger box than you had ever gotten before. It was about the same size as a small trunk and when you opened it you found a gorgeous dress, not too dissimilar from one of Nadjas.

"What is this?" you ask him while picking up the dress gently.

"I bought you a dress," he tells you, "I had Guillermo set it all up. He made sure the dress was the right size."

"Nandor, I don't know what to say," you tell him, "Thank you but I don't think I can expect this."

"Why not?" he asks you, "Do you not like the color?"

"No it's gorgeous but I-," you stop and think, "Nandor I really love all the gifts but you can't keep spending money on me."

"Why not?" Nandor asks and he looks kind of offended.

"Because you can't keep spending money on me." you tell him, "Honestly I really do love the gifts but you don't have to do that to impress me."

"I just like giving you things," he says, "seeing you happy makes me happy."

"If you want me to be happy then why don't we spend more time together?" you ask him.

"What would we do?" Nador asks you.

"Whatever we want. We could watch a movie or we could go read or something else. I don't know, whatever you want to do." you tell him.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks and you smile.

"If you want to," you tell him and he goes for it.

His hands find your face right away and you sink even deeper into the kiss. Your hand finds its way into his hair. When you both pull away you realize that you are still standing in your doorway.

"Do you want to come in?" you ask him.

"Yes." Nandor says simply.

When you drag him in the room you slam the door in the faces of the camera crew. As soon as he's in your room you resume kissing again.

This time though it's different, you both know what's coming. His hands start at your waist but slowly make their way up and under your shirt.

"Do you want me to take it off?" you ask him and instead of answering you he just rips it off. As soon as your bra is on full display he gets distracted by kissing your newly accessible skin.

"Nandor?" you ask him, "Do you want me?"

"More than anything, my sunshine." he answers you and the way he looks at you makes you want to melt.

You return to kissing each other and he picks you up to bring you over to your bed. When he sets you down you realize how much more clothing he is wearing compared to you.

"You are wearing too many clothes," you tell him and watch as he takes off the intricate top. When he is done you pull him down on the bed and kiss him again. Nandor goes straight to your bra hooks and takes it off. He pulls away to pay attention to your breasts.

"You are beautiful," he tells you and then kisses down your neck and chest til he gets to your tits. He pushes you down against your bed and starts sucking on your nipple.

"You are really good at this," you tell him and when he switches to the other side, "fuck."

"I have been a vampire since long before this country was found," he tells you.

"So what you are saying is that you have been around the block?" you tease him.

"The block?" he asks you, "I have flown around it."

"It means- you know what nevermind," you tell him, "more important things at hand than this."

You grab the back of his head and bring him down to kiss you. One of his hands starts playing with the hem of your pants while the other cups your left tit. You get the hint and lift yourself up to take off your pants, but before you can move to get them off Nandor does. He takes not just your jeans off but your underwear as well.

Then he dives in and licks along your folds. The shock of him on you has you pulling away until he wraps his arms around your legs and pulls you impossibly closer. Your hands find his hair and you wrap your fingers in it and when you look down at Nandor he starts to suck on your clit.

"fuck," you moan, "don't stop."

Nandor looks at you with his eyes and removes one of his arms from your legs. You suddenly feel two of Nandor's fingers pressing into you. You throw your head back against the bed and moan loudly. When he speeds up his actions you know it's only a matter of time until you come.

"fuck, Nan-nandor, I'm gonna-," you tell him until you feel a third finger inside you and you know it's over.

A wave of spasms run over you and you feel yourself grow wetter than before. Nandor continues to ravish you through your orgasm which makes it really hard to stop a second one from building.

"Nandor," you beg, "fuck me please."

He removes himself from you for a second and says "One more." then he continues to work you towards your second orgasm. This one comes quicker than the one before but it is just as intense. Nandor removes his fingers from you and lips them clean.

When he kisses you you can taste yourself on his tongue. You start trying to pull off his pants and when he stands up off the bed to do so you are greeted with his erect dick.

Around the house you had of course heard all about how he had a massive penis but it still surprised you to know that he was even bigger than you thought. You move to lick the pre-cum of the tip but when you do he moves away.

"Later," he tells you, "I want to fuck you first." He drags your hips to the edge of your bed and looks at you.

You nod and pull him in to kiss you. When your lips meet he starts into you. While he pushes into you the reason he wanted to have you ready becomes obvious, he is massive. Once he is fully seated inside of you he waits a moment. When he pulls away from your lips and starts moving. Slowly.

For a bit you appreciate that he is trying to make sure that you are comfortable but you want him to move.

"Nandor, faster," you tell him, "please."

"Whatever you want my sunshine." he tells you and starts to move faster than before.

You can't help but let out a moan especially when he starts to go even faster. When let out an especially loud one he groans. You start to feel an orgasm approach when Nandors fingers find your clit. He continues to pound into you and move his fingers over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Nandor!" you yell when you hit your breaking point and dig your nails into his biceps.

Nandors thirsts become more and more sloppy and you know he is close. You can feel yourself pulsing around him and soon enough he spills into you. When he is done he collapses atop you.

You both lay like this for a minute until you feel Nandor go to move out of you. When he does you feel the mess gather between your legs. He goes to grab a tissue from your nightstand and cleans you up.

After he throws it away he picks you up and moves you to lay on the bed properly. It surprises you for a second but let him do it. He moves to the other side of the bed and joins you in laying down.

His arm snakes around you and pulls you closer to him. You melt into him and feel yourself start to drift off.

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[little-wicked10]

My Sultan (Nandor the Relentless x ofc🥵)

Summary: While the boys are away, Nadja and Nandor’s human lover have a girls night in of swapping juicy secrets. Nadja reveals to her mortal friend that Nandor gets a hard on when being called “sultan”, the ultimate position of power and dominance for a once great and aspiring Ottoman general. Nadja, and the whole house, will soon realize what Nandor is capable of.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ (EXPLICIT!!! Seriously) and cursing

( // means it cuts to, from, or between interviews, documentary/not documentary footage, and perspective)

——

It was odd that Nadja had not joined the boys on a hunt. She loved the thrill of a good feeding followed by feral lovemaking with her husband. Regardless of the reason behind her staying put, I was happy to have my friend in the house to keep me company. “Come, little one, let us indulge in a, as you humans say, girls night,” she smiled giddily as she led me to the fancy room. It was strange to hear her say it, but I was all for her enthusiasm.

//

“Nandor and I met when he approached me on the street claiming I was some Greek princess or goddess,” I said crossing my legs as I sat across from the camera crew.

“Did you find that strange?” a crewman asks.

I laughed, “Of course I did. I thought he was one of those weird LARPing guys or an Emo kid that never grew out of that phase. His approach was definitely random and odd.”

//

“The night I met my mortal lover, Laszlo had pointed her out as a potential meal. An easy on-the-go snack,” Nandor admitted while seated in an ornate chair in the library, “I approached her to hypnotize her, but instead she bewitched me with her feminine wiles….not my proudest moment as a warrior.”

//

“I thought him mad when my great warrior friend nearly fell to his knees for some woman. A mortal one at that. Then I found it quite funny,” Laszlo complained.

“I myself was not surprised,” Nadja added, “I’ve had a great many mortal lovers in my time. And to be frank, Nandor does not have a good reputation among lady vampires.”

Both husband and wife laugh, clearly remembering the blunders of Nandor’s string of failed attempts at finding a partner.

“Though mortal, I do admire the young lady,” Laszlo adds once through laughing, “She’s got moxie, as the Americans say. And she makes sure the bloody oaf blows out the candles so he won’t burn the fucking house down.”

“Yes, that is a plus,” Nadja chimes in, “Also, I don’t have many ‘girl’ friends. It’s exciting to have another woman to talk to. At least one who understand trying to be in a relationship with an idiot vampire.”

//

Nadja and I had decided to drink. She opted for her stash of wino’s blood while I took advantage of my own bottle of red wine. After each drinking two glasses and feeling a wonderful buzz, we decided to rummage through the boys’ clothes. Laszlo was forever stuck in the Victorian era. “Oh try this one on!” Nadja threw a puffy pirate shirt at me and a scarf with some garish and dark pattern. I giggled and threw the shirt over my clothes before Nadja came to my aid to tie the scarf around my neck.

“Did he steal all this from a homosexual pirate?”

Nadja, with blood alcohol on her breath, laughed as she finished the knot, “A…a homosexual pirate!”

Her laughter made me laugh even more as I gave my best pirate Laszlo impression, “Argh! I’m Laszlo Cravensworth! I’ve come for yer booty!”

Nadja stumbled a bit as she laughed and returned to the closet door way, sipping on her third glass of blood to find her something to scrutinize. She put on ANOTHER of his pirate shirts and a waist coat before we both began acting like pirate Laszlo.

“We should see what Nandor has!” I said as the idea popped into my buzzed brain.

“You are so brilliant, little mortal!” Nadja said as she lightly smacked her head wishing she had thought of it.

We both scurried out to the bedroom of my boyfriend. After another glass for each of us and throwing on Nandor’s strange Persian hats and his fur-lined cloaks, we sat in the fancy room talking about the men whose entire wardrobe we ransacked.

“Ok, ok. What does Laszlo like to be called in bed…or coffin I guess,” I asked very bubbly.

“His highness,” Nadja replied with a regal tone in her voice.

“You’re kidding? His highness?” I giggled as I leaned back against the couch.

“The second I call him that,” she snaps her fingers, “straight at attention.”

We both knew the camera crew was having a hay day with us spilling dirty secrets about our love and sex lives in front of them. I doubt it wasn’t anything the vampires haven’t overshared already. “What about donkey dick, hm?” Nadja asked.

“Besides that he has one?” I smirked and held my hands up to show, exaggeratedly, the size of my man’s dick.

Nadja made a face of disgust before repeating her question, “No, no. Ew. What does Nandor like to be called when making love?”

“I don’t call him anything. Just his name,” I answered truthfully.

Nadja’s face suddenly became very mischievous. Her red lips turned up into a playful smirk making the tips of her fangs appear, “Oh, he hasn’t told you yet?”

I looked at her curiously. She studied my face before gasping and rushing to my side and sitting beside me on the couch. “You must know what I’m about to tell you!” She exclaimed grabbing my shoulders.

I glanced at the camera before looking back to her, “Should I be scared?”

She smirked, “No, but I believe you will thank me once you realize the power this secret has.”

Now I’m interested.

//

The men returned from their hunt expecting to hear their women chatting away or waiting for them naked and willing (at least that’s what they kept hoping for). “I say a good hunt, old sport. You’ve not lost your ways of the warrior,” Laszlo complimented as he took off his hat to give to Guillermo.

“Thank you, Laszlo. You did very well in selecting our prey,” Nandor complimented in return.

After removing his coat and patting the pockets of his waist coat, Laszlo looked around, “Now where is my darling succubus of a wife? That feeding has me in the mood to storm the castle, if you catch my drift, Nandy.”

“I too wish to engage in the sexy times with my love,” Nandor admits.

Both men call out to their women with no answer. They both sniff the air and begin to follow the smell of wine and blood. Their noses lead them to the Fancy Room and Laszlo pulls back the curtain to reveal a funny sight. Both women are dressed in a strange assortment of each of their clothings and spooning, Nadja obviously being the big spoon, on the couch using one of Nandor’s cloaks as a blanket.

“I say, old chap, I have no fucking clue what happened here, but I’m slightly aroused by it,” Laszlo admits.

“Why are they wearing our clothes?” Nandor asks.

//

“What’s sex like with Nandor?” a producer asks.

I sigh and think a moment, “Sex with Nandor is wonderful. A lot better than with a human man. We’ve yet to have rough sex just, as he and everyone in this house says, make love. But that might change after what Nadja told me last night.”

//

“My darling human loves our lovemaking. I’ve yet to not satisfy her,” Nandor brags, “And I am very satisfied with her as well.”

“She said that you’ve not had rough sex yet. Why’s that?” producer asks.

“I don’t think my little human is interested in such things. Plus my vampire strength could kill her if I am not careful,” Nandor admits, “so there is that.”

//

I had it planned perfectly. Nadja and I had talked about it at length until we passed out.

I sat in the library with Laszlo and Nadja. Nandor and Guillermo were about to return from going to the store, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I’m not ashamed of my sex life with Nandor. In this house, it wasn’t hard to get familiar with the vampires and their sexual proclivities. Nadja and Laszlo certainly weren’t quiet about any of it.

The front door opened then closed, and I could hear Nandor and Guillermo talking. I glanced over at Nadja who gave me a knowing look and I adjusted the black silk robe I wore. Not uncommon for me to wear around the house since Nandor could be insatiable at times. If I’m being honest, Nadja looked just as excited as I felt. “Good evening, everyone. My darling,” Nandor greeted leaning down and kissing my head.

“Laszlo, I picked up new ascot for you since I accidentally used your other one as a napkin,” Nandor apologized handing Laszlo a little black box.

“I’m going to my crypt to watch Guillermo reorganize my closet,” Nandor gave Nadja a sideways glance before turning to retreat down the hall.

I jumped up to sit on my knees and lean against the back of the couch before calling to him, “Should I join you, my sultan?”

Nandor froze in his tracks. Laszlo choked on his pipe. I smirked playfully at Nandor’s back, “Or will you not be need my services tonight?”

I heard Nadja giggle with delight as Laszlo continued to choke, “S-Sultan?” Nandor slowly turned around and the look on his face was strange, intense. He suddenly rushed toward me, his boots echoing on the wood floor. When he stood before me, he made me look up at him with a finger under my chin, “What did you say?”

“Oh shit,” Laszlo said before Nadja shushed him. I could feel both of them staring at us intensely.

“Will you not be needing my services tonight, my sultan?” I batted my eyelashes innocently with a smirk still on my lips.

Laszlo whispered, “Why the fuck does she keep calling him that?”

Nandor barred his fangs a bit, “Crypt. Now.”

I guess he decided I wasn’t going to be fast enough because he had me thrown over his shoulder. I shrieked and laughed as my warrior carried me off. “Do not disturb us for we will be engaging in sexy times,” Nandor shouted. He slammed the door of his crypt shut and locked it before tossing me on his couch layered with furs. I watched as he threw off his over coat. His red and gold tunic just made him look all the more powerful for some reason.

“Where did you learn to call me that?” he asks stepping towards me.

“A woman has her ways,” I began untying the belt of my robe, “Does it not please you, my sultan?”

Nandor growled and rolled his neck at the name, “You have no idea how much it does.”

I opened my robe to reveal my naked body to him, rubbing my thighs together, “Show me. Take what you want then, great warrior.”

Nandor pounced on me like a beast. He held my neck firmly in one hand and claimed my lips in a bruising kiss, pinning me beneath him. His hips shoved against mine making me gasp and roll mine for friction. He bit my bottom lip and I felt his fang puncture it and cause the taste of blood to fill both our mouths. Nandor groaned and he pulled away, sitting up enough to rip my robe to shreds as he licked my blood from his lips, “Your Sultan wants to taste more than blood tonight, my desert flower.” He leant down and trailed his lips along my jaw, down my neck, towards my chest, letting his fangs graze the swell of my breasts and making me shiver. The heat was rising and twisting in my body from watching him change so quickly and give into something more dominant. It felt like I was going to explode with anticipation.

I grasped the arm of the couch above my head with both hands and prepared as he reached the apex of my thighs, spreading my legs roughly and digging his strong fingers into my thighs. “I will have my fill of you, and you will not push me away,” he ordered.

“Yes, my sultan,” the smirk forming on my lips changed into an ‘o’ as he devoured my cunt. I felt his tongue enter me and his nose press into my swollen clit. “Na-Nandor!” I cried which spurred him to fuck me with his mouth even more. I rolled my hips into his mouth and held the arm of the couch with one hand while the other tangled into his hair. Nandor moved his mouth to suck on my clit and shoved two thick fingers inside me and curled them. I keened and arched my back off the couch, grasping his head with both hands.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Nandor!” These words were like a song and the only ones my mind could form.

I was sped towards the edge so quickly that I crashed over the edge before I knew it, my whole body shaking. Nandor didn’t stop as he replaced his fingers with his tongue and threw my legs over his shoulders. My obscene cries and moans increased as I pushed on his shoulders to slow down but that only resulted in him taking my hands and pinning them to my sides. Tears pricked my eyes as I was at the mercy of his overstimulating, delicious torture. I held on to his hands for dear life as the feeling of his tongue fucking me and his fangs slightly grazing against me became too much, “T-too m-much! Nandor!”

His only response was to growl and reach up and pinch my clit between his fingers. Something snapped inside me and my vision went black around the edges.

//

There was suddenly a loud scream full of ecstasy echoing from Nandor’s room. Laszlo didn’t even look up from his book, “Well done, old chap.”

//

It felt like the aftershocks of having electricity running through my body. I trembled with a wonderful euphoric feeling as Nandor released me to collapse back onto the couch so he could crawl up my body. When I opened my eyes, I saw Nandor’s handsome face completely soaked. “We are not finished yet, my mortal concubine,” he smirks, lust having blown his pupils.

“Yes,” I gasped, “Yes, sultan.”

“Let your sultan conquer every part of you,” he growled, and before I knew it, he was completely undressed, cold body against mine.

He threw my legs around his waist and pinned my hands to the couch arm before spearing me with his cock. I cried and moaned as he stretched me. Nandor fucked me at a brutal pace that had my eyes rolling to the back of my head and my toes curling.

//

Laszlo and Nadja were both huddled by Nandor’s door. After that last orgasm, neither could resist trying to see what was going on. Nadja had her ear pressed to the door while Laszlo was kneeled down trying to look through the peephole. “I’m so proud of our little human. Very much being the seductress I knew she was,” Nadja smiled.

“I’ll be honest, I never thought Nandor could fuck like that,” Laszlo admitted, “Why hasn’t he fucked us like that in our orgies?”

“My darling, there’s ‘orgy’ sex and then there’s ‘making love to your love’ sex,” Nadja explained.

Both husband and wife were jolted away from the door when two bodies slammed against the other side of it.

//

Nandor had thrown my legs over his shoulders and was fucking me into the door. His mouth was only an inch from mine, breathing each others air while ravishing one another like we will die tomorrow. The door creaked every time he thrust into me and all I could do was hold on to his neck as he took what he wanted. “The whole house will know who rules over this body,” Nandor grunted, “Tell me who does.”

“Y-you do! Y-ou! Fuck you feel so good in-inside me!” I panted like a bitch in heat.

“Your sweet cunt keeps pulling me back in,” Nandor growled before he moved my legs to wrap around his waist and sunk his fangs into my neck.

I moaned and gripped his black hair tightly as an overwhelming feeling of euphoria spread throughout my body. This was the first time he had ever fed on me while fucking, and I now know why Nadja went on and on about it last night. It felt like the pleasure was in my veins and effecting every single sense. It felt so intimate and raw. I couldn’t describe it with the right words if I wanted to.

Before I could blink, we had moved off the door and back on the couch. I was bent over the arm with Nandor’s chest pressed to my back and his hips thrusting deep and hard as he licked away the blood around the puncture wounds. He jerked my head back by my hair so his mouth was near to my ear, “You’re blood drives me mad, my dearest. Just as my cock does you.” His other hand snaked around to grip tightly on one of my breasts, tweaking my nipple and slapping the sensitive flesh. I could only moan as my answer. It truly felt like I was being conquered by a warrior, and I loved being at his mercy.

Every time I tried to speak, it came out as gibberish mixed with moans and whines. My mind was fuzzy and only focused on the feeling of his cock pushing me closer and closer to another orgasm. Nandor pushed my shoulders down to the couch with the hand in my hair allowing him to thrust directly into my g-spot. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I screamed his praises as I felt a gushing explosion around his cock. He shoved himself as deep as he could inside me and released his seed with a mighty roar as my vision blacked out.

Nandor fell on top of me, his forehead resting against my temple. All was silent except for his feral panting and my quiet whimpers. I felt his fingers untangle from my hair and his hands wonder along my convulsing body in an attempt to bring me back to reality. “Sssh, my darling,” he whispered in my ear as he left gentle kisses along my face and neck. I suddenly felt the weight of his body begin to leave mine and his cock being removed from inside me. I whined desperately and grabbed his neck to keep him from disappearing. I could still feel him throbbing inside me and my body wasn’t ready to feel empty just yet. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, worry laced in his words. I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, my love. I was too rough with you. And I did not ask permissions to feed on you,” he chided himself. My man had returned from being a conquering sultan.

“N-no. No, Nandor. J-just need a m-moment. P-please d-don’t leave,” I managed to stutter.

Nandor seemed to understand, and he began to delicately change our position. I felt him move us to be laying on our sides with my back to his chest, never once disconnecting us. He wrapped his arms around me and comforted me until my body stopped shaking. “I must leave your insides before you arouse me for another round of sexy times,” he whispered. I nodded my head, whimpering as I felt him gently slip out of me and a rush of our releases spilled out with an obscene sound.

“Was it as satisfactory for you as it was me?” he asked.

“More than satisfactory, my love,” I smiled as I took his hand to kiss the back of it.

“Mm good because I will be ready to go again in a few minutes,” he admitted.

“Really?” I asked shocked, “Nandor, I need to recoup for a minute.”

Suddenly, I felt him harden against my back as he gripped me tighter, “I still have more conquering to do.”

[agaypanic]

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

here you can find all of my kinktober fics for 2024! you can also find these fics in their respective show/character's masterlist and on my AO3

most of these characters were chosen from voting polls, and characters can only have a max of 3 days (i think if i do this again next year, ill only do 2 days max)

Main Masterlist | Request Something! | AO3

Teacher/Student - Ellie Sattler

Temperature Play - Felix Catton

Praise Kink - Carlisle Cullen

Biting - Farleigh Start

Vibrator - Regina George

Spanking - Emmett Cullen

Branding - Gideon Graves

Creampie - Farleigh Start

Orgasm Denial - J.D.

Threesome - Ray Stantz and Egon Spengler

Distracted Sex - Mike Schmidt

Shower Sex - Beca Mitchell

Uniforms - Egon Spengler

Knife Play - J.D.

Gags - Regina George

Size Difference - Emmett Cullen

Cunnilingus - Nadja of Antipaxos

Tease - Farleigh Start

Overstimulation - J.D.

Mirror Sex - Nadja of Antipaxos

Hate Fucking - Steven Hyde

Triple Penetration - Nandor the Relentless, Nadja of Antipaxos, and Laszlo Cravensworth

Crying - Nandor the Relentless

Roleplay - Eric Forman

Medical Play - Carlisle Cullen

Degrading - Regina George

Daddy - Carlisle Cullen

Pegging - Felix Catton

Bondage - Nicholas Angel

Voyeurism - Felix Catton

Monsterfucking - Emmett Cullen

if you dont want to miss a fic getting posted, i can start a kinktober taglist! or if you dont want to miss a fic for certain characters or fandoms, i can add you to a taglist just for those characters/fandoms. just comment about it down below!

[jackiegaytona]

Hi peeps

It's midnight. I can't sleep. Brain is coming up with terrible sexy ideas for fics. I may or may not regret posting this:

Alpha Nandor & Alpha Laszlo fighting over Omega Guillermo. Would anyone read this sexy pure trash? Would anyone do me a kindness and talk me into writing this?

[constablequodo]

WWDITS fans write more than just smut for any Laszlo ship challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

[flash-bastardd]

Finished fic out now!

[mossycakes]

after nearly 4 months of deliniation, two attempts to abandon it, and one dream that gave me the idea, i am extremely happy to say that my wwdits smut fic, "You Give Me Chills (I've Had It With The Drills)" is finally complete! you can read it by clicking on the link below, let me know what you think and tell a friend!

after the events of s4 ep9, nandor tries to apologise to guillermo. the failed attempt ends in an even angrier guillermo, and the following fight leads to... well...

[kristylime]

WWDITS FanFic Rec- This Is Hardcore

Continuing my series to plug some other cool What We Do In the Shadows Fics that I have read and really enjoyed.

Spotlight on:

This is Hardcore by BuffyJayne, Flashbcaks (BuffyJayne)  (@flashbcaks)

This story was a delightful smutty gift to consume.  Personally, I think this is some of the hottest smut I have ever read, but I realize smut can be a pretty subjective thing.  

In a nutshell, still smarting over his latest slight from Gail, Nandor has an idea of what will cheer him up.  And it turns out that thing is to be dominated in the bedroom by his familiar/bodyguard.  Guillermo is willing to do his level best to try to make Nandor feel better… and the result is smut so good that I was thinking about it days later. And then circled back to the author to let them know I was still thinking about a specific detail that I couldn’t get out of my mind…

It’s still haunting me to this day, in fact.

Also, this fic is only 2219 words. Frankly, I wish it was longer.

Summary:

Nandor wants to feel the thrill of uncertainty, and is curious about the newfound strength of his bodyguard. Because they don't have any comfortably big enough beds in the house, they go back to the hotel where Nandor had met with Gail. This will have no repercussions whatsoever. 🙃

Takes place mid-season 3, before the Wellness Center.

Title comes from the song of the same name by Pulp.

This song fits the vibe of this fic super well. The song sounds erotic.  Not just the lyrics, but the music itself. Even if this were an instrumental, I would still argue that this would be a fitting song. It sounds sexy AF. But the lyrics enhance it. And speaks well to the longstanding lust between Nandor and Guillermo. And the anticipation of their first time. As well as the decidedly more hardcore than vanilla nature of what they undertake together.

As the song questions in its final lines: “What exactly do you do for an encore? ‘Cause this is hardcore.”  Frankly, I would like to know the answer to this as far as Nandor and Guillermo are concerned here… you know.  If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, @flashbcaks!  😉

And as a side note, the video for this song was really cool.  Especially if you are a classic movie fan.  It employed the premise of shooting a film and dipped into several different genres/styles that will be instantly recognizable to classic film buffs.

It should be noted that this work is part of a series Sometimes I'm thinking that I love you... But I know it's only Lust.  It is technically a prequel to a different work, but is Part 1 of the series… that is part of the reason that I chose to present this one first.  I have already covered the other reasons... 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Please stop by and take a look! If you enjoy, please show some love with Kudos and comments!

[friendofgandalf]

I Wish You Well: Chapter 2 - A Wish (A WWDITS Amnesia Fic)

After Guillermo confides in Nandor that he’s been turned, Nandor acts rashly and runs to the Djinn. His wish doesn’t go as planned, however, and now Nandor has to deal with the aftermath.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

[Read here]

Length: 10, 592 Chapters: 2/11 Rating: Eventually NSFW Nandermo.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

“I’m so sorry, Guillermo.” Nandor said quietly, though Nandor didn’t mean his apology the way everybody else in the room interpreted it. He wasn’t empathizing for Guillermo’s fictional loss – he was admitting to all the ways he had and was and probably will continue to hurt him.  

I’m going to make this up to you. Nandor thought as he rubbed the man’s back. He didn’t know how yet, but Nandor was going to make sure Guillermo came out of this happy too. This new life would start off as a lie – but that was just how it had to be to keep the two of them together. Even Guillermo, if he hadn’t had his memory erased, would agree that they were meant to be together: this was just another obstacle for them to overcome.

And they would. Nandor would make sure of it.

[spaceagebachelormann]

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

!!REQUEST REQUIREMENTS!!

-> state the character, romantic or platonic, the format of the request, and a plot

-> do you have any specifics for the reader? blonde, poc, male, neurodivergent, etc? (please keep in mind i will write poc readers but i’m white so they may be a little difficult for me)

-> requests are preferred to be sent through inbox, but i can make dms work if needed

-> PLEASE ACTUALLY SPECIFY WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR REQUEST!! ITS VERY HARD FOR ME TO WRITE “____ x reader fluff” GIVE ME A PLOT LINE

!!WHAT I WILL WRITE!!

-> platonic

-> romantic

-> familial

-> any gender x any gender

-> headcanons

-> long fics

-> multi character

-> blurbs

-> poly relationships

-> x reader

-> i will only write cheating if it’s a character comforting r after being cheated on, not a character cheating on r

!!WHAT I WONT WRITE!!

-> smut (i’m 15)

-> yandere

-> most aus, ask about the specific au before requesting an au

-> incest

-> age gaps

-> canonical gay/lesbian character x a man (if lesbian) or a woman (if gay)

-> song fics

-> things about ocs

-> ships

-> sunshine x grumpy tropes, i’m horrible at this trope

character list

keeper of the lost cities

sophie foster, dex dizznee, fitz vacker, keefe sencen, biana vacker, marella redek, maruca chebota, tam song, linh song, wylie endal, jensi babblos, stina heks, elwin hesledge

harry potter

harry potter, ron weasley, hermione granger, neville longbottom, luna lovegood, ginny weasley, fred weasley, george weasley, sirius black, james potter, remus lupin, mary macdonald, marlene mckinnon, lily evans, dorcas meadows, regulus black, barty crouch jr, narcissa black, andromeda black, bellatrix lestrange

ride the cyclone

ocean o’connell rosenberg, noel gruber, mischa bachinski, ricky potts, jane doe/penny lamb, constance blackwood

the outsiders

ponyboy curtis, johnny cade, sodapop curtis, darry curtis, steve randall, twobit matthews, dallas winston, cherry valance

the school for good and evil

agatha, sophie, tedros, hort, hester, anadil, dot, nicola, rhian mistral, rafal mistral, clarissa dovey, leonora lesso

little women

jo march, amy march, beth march, meg march, laurie

dracula

dracula, lucy westenra, arthur holmwood, john seward, mina harker, abraham van helsing, renfield, quincey morris, jonathan harker, the brides

frankenstein

victor frankenstein, elizabeth lavenza, henry clerval, adam frankenstein, justine mortiz, ernest frankenstein, the bride

dr jekyll and mr hyde

henry jekyll, edward hyde, richard enfield, gabriel utterson, hastie lanyon, lucy harris

phantom of the opera

christine daaé, erik destler, raoul de chagney, meg giry, carlotta giudicelli

the mighty ducks

charlie conway, adam banks, lester averman, guy germaine, connie moreau, fulton reed, dean portman, julie gaffney, ken wu, luis mendoza, dwayne robertson

david bowie

david bowie, ziggy stardust, jareth, thomas jerome newton, celliers

daisy jones and the six

daisy jones, billy dunne, graham dunne, karen sirko, warren rhodes, pete loving/roundtree, eddie loving/roundtree, camila dunne, simone jackson

doctor who bbc

ninth doctor, tenth doctor, eleventh doctor, twelfth doctor, rose tyler, jack harkness, mickey smith, donna noble, martha jones, clara oswald, river song, amy pond, rory williams, simm! master, missy/gomez master

miss peregrines home for peculiar children

jacob portman, emma bloom, millard nulling, enoch o’connor, olive elephanta, alma peregrine

good omens

crowley, aziraphale, ineffable husbands (poly), beelzebub <3, gabriel, ineffable bureaucracy (poly), nina, maggie, nina and maggie (poly), anathema

what we do in the shadows

nandor the relentless, nadja of antipaxos, laszlo cravensworth, colin robinson, guillermo de la cruz, the guide, baron afanas

yellowjackets

shauna shipman, lottie matthews, misty quigley, taissa turner, van palmer, natalie scatoricco, jackie taylor, travis martinez

miscellaneous characters

sarah williams, bernard the elf, rodrick heffley, varian, lisa frankenstein, the creature (lisa frankenstein)

UPCOMING FANDOMS : star trek, american horror story, torchwood, x-men, gossip girl, hannibal, sherlock, ghosts, house md

[fictionalmenmistress]

The Private Library

... Of Fictional Men Mistress

Welcome! This post serves as my digital private library... my most beloved collection. None of these works are mine, and all credit is due to the lovely and incredible minds that created these works of art; (which you will find next to their titles, once you choose a category). This is the home to my personal most favorites, and most beloved stories and fanfictions and blog posts I have read. I think about these daily... I adore these. They've made my life better. They've changed my life. They've kept me going during my lowest points in life, and I mean that. I reccomend all of these. These were written by the best writers in the world; true to character, perfectly immersive, so imaginative, feels like you are there.

All of these fanfictions, stories, character & show analysis, random tumblr posts, headcannons, and beloved writings of all types, will be listed in no distinct order, inside their categories. Please Enjoy; explore them all! 🖤🗝☕🥂

The Majorety of these reccomends are for mature audiences, 18+, so if you are a minor, please DO NOT read through these reccomends yet.

Choose a vinyl playlist!

What genre of fandom writing do you want to spin on the turntable???

NOTE: NO LINKS ON THIS LIST ARE CURRENTLY ACTIVE! LISTS ARE BEING FINISHED, AND LINKS WILL BE ADDED TO THIS LIST ALL AT ONCE, VERY SOON. PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER MASTERLISTS, PINNED TO MY BLOG, AND SAVE THIS GOODIE FOR LATER! 😉

• Favorite STARWARS Reccomendations: (The Clone Wars, Prequels, Sequels, The Bad Batch) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite BTS Reccomendations: (mostly Taehyung, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jungkook, Jin, Hoseok) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite TMNT Reccomendations: (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Bayverse Turtles, 80s, 2003 TMNT, Rise of the TMNT, 2007 TMNT) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite MARVEL Reccomendations: (MOON KNIGHT, WandaVision, LOKI, Loki Laufeyson, Avengers, XMEN, Wolverine, VENOM) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite LIE TO ME* Reccomendations: (Dr. Cal Lightman, Tim Roth *actor*) Headcannons / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite THE BOYS Recommendations: (Billy Butcher, The Boys Team) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite MY HERO ACADAMIA Reccomendations: (Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Enji, Dabi) Analysis / Headcannons / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite Good Omens Reccomendations: (Anthony J. Crowley *The Demon*, Aziraphale A.Z. Fell *The Angel*) Analysis / Headcannons / Fanfictions 🖤

• Favorite "Warden" Hwajin Na *Get Schooled Webtoon* Reccomendations: Analysis / Headcannons / Fanfiction / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite Tom Hiddleston Reccomendations: (Tommy Hiddles *actor*) Headcannons / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite What We Do In The Shadows Reccomendations: (Vladislav The Poker, Viago Von Dorna Schmarten Scheden Heimburg, Deacon Bruke, Stu, Nick "Twilight", Anton The Werewolf, Nandor The Relentless, Guillermo De La Cruz, Lazlo Cravensworth, Nadjia of Axtapos, Colin Robinson) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite SHERLOCK Reccomendations: (Sherlock Holmes *BBC*, John Watson, classic sir arthur conan doyle books) analysis / fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite DC COMICS Recommendations: (BATMAN, The Batfamily, Nightwing, Robin, The Teen Titans) analysis / fanfictions 🖤

• Favorite Impractical Jokers Reccomendations: (The Tenderloins comedy troupe, Brian "Q" Quinn, Sal Vulcano, James S. "MURR" Murray, Joe Gatto) Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite Portal Recommendations: (Portal, Portal 2, Wheatley, Chell, the Cores) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite Ghostbusters Reccomendations: (Dr. Egon Spangler, Dr. Ray Stanz, Dr. Peter Venkman, Winston Zeddermore) Analysis / Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite AVATAR (Na'vi) Reccomendations: (Jake Sully, Neteyam Sully) Analysis / Headcannons / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite Stranger Things Reccomendations: (Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington) Headcannon / Fanfictions / NSFW & SMUT 🖤

• Favorite Tumblr Posts: (random, deep & intellectual, movie, life, advice, or most comedic posts, that make tumblr the greatest platform of all) 🖤

>>> Return to Main Masterlist?

[mothguillotine]

Rating: M

Pairing: Nandor x Reader

Summary: Does this story answer the age-old question, How Many Vampires Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Probably not. You (the reader) get attacked by a werewolf and are saved by vampires. Hijinks ensue while you try to balance your new life as a vampire and your old life as a human all while possibly falling in love with your new housemate, Nandor the Relentless.

I Definitely Just Got Attacked By A Werewolf

Hey Siri, Can Vampires Get Cucked? (cw: smut)

Is It Still Family Dinner If You Can't Eat?

Is There A Vampire Dentist? (cw: smut)

n/a (coming soon)

n/a

n/a

[agaypanic]

reblogging for more tags and to also say that if you ask to be part of a fandom/character taglist, i'm going to assume that you just want to see the kinktober fics unless you say otherwise. so if you wanna get a notification when i post any kind of fic about a character/fandom, make sure you tell me

Kinktober is cumming Coming

october is in like a week or two which means that kinktober is in like a week or two!! i plan to have a fic for every day, but with college starting (first day is literally tomorrow omfg) i cant promise that a fic will come out on it's intended day

soooo if you don't wanna miss a kinktober fic, i have great news for you! not only will i have a kinktober masterlist, but i will also have a kinktober taglist. since ill be writing for a lot of different characters, you can ask to be tagged in every fic, fics for a certain fandom(s), or fics for a certain character(s). if you want to be tagged for a fandom or character, i can also add you to a taglist for my regular fics if you'd like (ppl part of my regular fandom/character taglists will be tagged in these fics unless they say otherwise)

heres a list of all the fandoms + characters that'll be a part of my kinktober 2024 masterlist:

Jurassic Park: Ellie Sattler

Saltburn: Felix Catton, Farleigh Start

Twilight: Carlisle Cullen, Emmett Cullen

Mean Girls: Regina George

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: Gideon Graves

Heathers: J.D.

Ghostbusters: Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler

Five Nights at Freddy's: Mike Schmidt

Pitch Perfect: Beca Mitchell

What We Do In The Shadows: Nadja of Antipaxos, Laszlo Cravensworth, Nandor the Relentless

That 70's Show: Steven Hyde, Eric Forman

Hot Fuzz: Nicholas Angel

[rewritethisstxry]

Hello and welcome to my mixed mosh little corner of tumblr. Here I write for a variety of fandoms and characters. Primarily will be featuring drabbles with the occasional longer piece. Headcanons will feature from time to time.

At the time I do NOT consent for my work to be translated or posted anywhere else.

Below you will find some more information on who and what I write.

MINORS DNI. Due to the nature of potential content, only 18 and older are allowed.

Characters || Rules || Masterlist || Slasher/horror writing blog : @slxsherwriter

What I will write:

Angst

Fluff

Smut

Platonic relationships

Alpha/Omega dynamics

What I won’t write:

Snuff

Rape, rape play, non con

Underage

Inc*st

Real person fic

Marvel: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Alexei Shostakov, Peter Parker, Victor Creed, Deacon Frost, Peter Quinn, Frank Castle, Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson, Bruce Banner, Brock Rumlow, Nathan Summers, Eddie Brock, Cletus Kasady, Otto Octavius

DC Universe: Bruce Wayne, Harvey Bullock, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Jonathan Crane, Clark Kent, Arthur Curry

Stranger Things: James Hopper, Steve Harrington, Jonathan Byers

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Ronan Dex, Carson Beckett

Sons of Anarchy: Jackson “Jax” Teller, Harry “Opie” Winston, Filip “Chibs” Telford, Juan Carlos “Juice” Ortiz, Lincoln Potter, Galen O'Shay

The Walking Dead: Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh, Negan Smith

What We Do in the Shadows: Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz, Laszlo Cravensworth

Resident Evil: Karl Heisenberg, Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield

Ted Lasso: Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, Jamie Tartt, Roy Kent

Good Omens: Gabriel, Aziraphale, Crowley

Video Games: Connor RK800, CaptainJonathan Price, Simon Ghost Riley, Sniper

Movies: Finn Brody (Godzilla), Raleigh Becket (Pacific Rim), Terry Malone (Black and Blue), Abe Guevara (Point Blank), Bobby O’Neill (The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard), Guy Clifton (The Crash), Roy Pulver (Boss Level), Sloan (Into the Ashes) Braxton Wolff (The Accountant), Ethan Sawyer (Those Who Wish Me Dead), Bradley James (Grudge Match), Sam Rossi (Sweet Virginia), Mr. McCarthy (Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl), Grady Travis (Fury), Griff (Baby Driver), Adam Frawley (The Town), Buddy (Baby Driver), Clyde Brenek (The Posession), Patrick Sullivan (The Accidental Husband), Harvey Russell (Rampage), Jude Fisher (Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding), Luke Vaughn (Heist), Franklin Clay (The Losers), Max (The Resident), Nicomund the Red/Santa Claus (Violent Night), Doug Dennison (Sleepless), Frank Masters (The Equalizer), Hellboy (2019), Alex Baldr (Max Payne), Matt Graver (Sicario), Douglas Hunsiker (The Rise of the Planet of the Apes), Steve Emmett (Boa vs Python), Joe Braven (Braven), Lee Christmas (The Expendables), Deckard Shaw (Fast & Furious)

Musicals: Jack Kelly (Newsies), Dewey Finn (School of Rock), Hades (Hadestown)

Tv shows: Ike Evans (Magic City), Jason Crouse (The Good Wife), John Winchester (Supernatural), Mason Baldwin (Elementary), Colton Fisk (The Equalizer), Kevin Tidwell (Life), Declan Murphy (Law & Order: SVU), Eugene McGillicutty (Royal Pains), Chuck Martin (ER), Dickie Flood (Th Practice), Malcolm Bright (Prodigal Son)

Tolkien: Boromir, Faramir, Eomer

[cxdemistake]

—Time slips away!

Burn out, don’t fade!

Dance on my grave!

I will never be them!—

Indie multimuse, multifandom blog.

Canon and OC muses present

Currently mobile-only

Semi-selective, semi-active

Open to asks and messages

More info (link to OCs, list of canon muses, writer info, and rules) under the cut.

OC Links

*Note: A few characters’ appearances/voices have changed, so make sure to check out the tags on the blog. OCs are tagged with “; (name)”— for example, my character Myarel is tagged with “; myarel” (no quotations).*

Canon Muses

*Note: Many of these muses aren’t listed on my muse page due to being unable to update said page from my phone. Muse tags vary. Some are tagged with fancy tags but I may switch between those and regular tags. They’re listed here in alphabetical order by fandom.*

**Edit: I’ve also marked which fandoms/muses are most active. Very active fandoms will be bolded, semi-active italic, and dormant/needing some time before interaction are regular text. I’ll also put an asterisk after new muses/muses I haven’t played yet. I beg that if a fandom isn’t bolded or italicized that you discuss it with me before sending something in or making a starter— I have a lot of muses and it takes time to get into the swing of new ones when I’m not in the right mindset!**

The Arcana: Asra Alnazar*, Julian Devorak, Portia Devorak*, Faust

American Gods: Mad Sweeney

Assassin’s Creed: Ezio Auditore da Firenze*, Aveline de Grandpré

Avatar: The Last Airbender: Zuko*

Back 4 Blood: Karlee*, Evangelo*

Baldur’s Gate 3: Astarion*

Boondock Saints: Murphy MacManus*

Call of Duty: Simon “Ghost” Riley*, Johnny “Soap” MacTavish*

Chappie: Chappie*

Columbo: Lt. Frank Columbo*

Dead Island/Riptide: Sam B, John Morgan*

Detroit: Become Human: Connor, Markus*

Dirty Bomb: Vassili*

Disturbed (band): The Guy*

Dream Daddy: Damien Bloodmarch*, Robert Small*

Dying Light: Kyle Crane*, Rahim*, Karim*

FNAF: Cupcake

Hazbin Hotel: Alastor, Angel Dust, Charlie, Husk, Lucifer

Homestuck: Gamzee, Calsprite

I, Frankenstein: Adam

Into the Badlands: Baron Quinn*

Jet Set Radio Future: Yoyo*

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Jonathan Joestar*, Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo*, Josuke Higashikata*, Giorno Giovanna*, Jolyne Cujoh*, Caesar Zeppeli

Kingdom Hearts: Axel

Left 4 Dead 2: Ellis, Nick

Marvel: Nightcrawler*, Moon Knight*, Eddie Brock/Venom*

Monster High: River Styxx*, Operetta*, Frankie Stein*

The Nightmare Before Christmas: Jack Skellington*

Obey Me!: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo

Onmyoji: Yasha*, Hiromasa*, Susabi*

Pirates of the Caribbean: Captain Jack Sparrow*

Portal: GLaDOS

Red Dead Redemption: John Marston*, Arthur Morgan*

Rise of the Guardians: Jack Frost*

Skullgirls: Valentine

Stardew Valley: Shane*

Steven Universe: Garnet*, Ruby*, Sapphire*, Sunstone*, Sardonyx*, Rainbow Quartz 2.0*

Spiritfarer: Gwen*

Suicide Squad: Diablo

Undertale/Deltarune: Papyrus, Sans, Susie*

Until Dawn: Chris*

The Village: Ivy Walker

Walking Dead/Fear: Negan Smith, Daryl Dixon, Morgan Jones, Shiva, Victor Strand*, Qaletaqa Walker*, Crazy Dog*

Warframe: Excalibur Umbra*

Warm Bodies: R, M

What We Do In The Shadows: Nandor the Relentless*, Viago*, Vladislav*

Info About The Writer

Hi! I’m Alistair— you can call me that, or you can use my username for pretty much everywhere else, TheetyPie/Theety. I don’t mind either way.

I’m a trans guy, I use he/they pronouns. I’m panromantic/asexual, and I’m 27 years old.

I have 3 cats, they’re my babies. I also (as you can tell from above) have a lot of OCs, and the number is still growing. I want to turn my ideas into a bigger creation someday, still not sure exactly where I want to go with it.

I do more than write. I do art, I like video games, music, and just collecting stuff. Current obsessions are Monster High, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, makeup, crystals, and jewelry.

Rules

The most important: I do not RP smut. In the past I’ve used the fade-to-black method, but I’m not entirely comfortable with that with most of my muses.

In the same vein, DO NOT FORCE SHIPS. I love ships as much as the next guy, but I would prefer to discuss it first, or for us to agree on it. It’s cool if your muse has a crush, totally fine— mine get crushes all the time! But make sure if you want to ship, we discuss it first.

In a similar vein to that one as well, no god-modding/powerplaying. If your character is strong, an immortal being, or whatever, cool! I have some of those too. But there should always be a limit. Don’t say your character is moving mine unless we’ve talked about that. Attempt to move them. Usually I follow along as long as boundaries aren’t pushed.

Don’t kill or seriously injure my muse without permission. Fights happen, of course, but again: discussion. I’m up for threads where my canon muses are injured or killed, but not where it happens to my OCs, unless we’re getting into a backstory and another OC that’s already deceased dies. Non-serious injuries are alright to come out of nowhere with, but if it’s a first meeting, I’d prefer to plot it out.

I’m semi-selective. I’m kind of particular about who I follow and who I thread with. I prefer us to be mutuals to thread, but you don’t have to be mutuals to send me things.

I’m very bad at keeping up with people. If you message me and I don’t respond, it’s usually bc I’m shy, I forgot, or I’m busy with work. It’s not you, I promise. Usually I don’t message first bc I’m nervous.

Back to shipping: I’m also multiship. Usually my ships are in different universes, unless discussed with all parties beforehand. The exception is a few of my OCs that are partnered together— ask about their availability. I love random ships, just talk to me about them!

I love duplicates of my muses. Whether it’s “x meets self” or I find someone I share a muse with, I love RPing with just about everyone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if we have a muse in common!

One of my other most important statements, not really considered a rule, but it’s still important: if you want to know something about any muse, canon or OC, please tell me— ask or message me! I haven’t been able to write down a lot of info about any of them because I’m on mobile, but I will infodump for you if you need/want to know something. I love talking about my children, they’re precious to me.

If you send something in or make something for me when we haven’t even spoken, I might not feel comfortable responding. I’m very shy and nervous about not having any discussion beforehand. 😭

If there’s anything I left out or you need to know, just ask!